Tuesday, January 13, 2009

to Aravind Adiga,


I currently live in Dresden, Germany. Its been five months for me. Few months ago, a german colleague asked me if I had read your book. He found it amazing. I thought it was just some book and didnt give it much thought. Then an american came to me and asked if I was from India. He asked me if it was true what you have written in your shot to fame book. I thought I should give it a read. It was when another German friend, went to US, got the book, read it, came back and discussed certain things you have written, that I borrowed the book from him and read it. Even before reading it, I had outrightly dismissed that everything in the book is not so amplified it seems. Whether its true or not Mr. Adiga, I dont like my country potrayed like this and people coming and asking me if it was true. Certainly, the foreigners enjoy reading your novel because the things you describe are strange to them and amazes them. Its entertainment for them.

What you have described in the book, of course is true to certain extent, but its dark. I am not saying that I refuse to see the dark, I say that its too dark for the reality. People who read it, specially for people slightly on the darker side, its not encouraging. There are people, amidst this land of corruption, amidst a mindset of hopelessness you deliver in your novel, who have crossed from the dark to light, without stealing, murdering, without of course yes, i don't support it, but without complaining. Yes of course the problem exists, only in India, drivers can make sweets, can massage their masters, only in India, one guy, raised and educated in Australia, Oxford wheresoever, can come back, look at this things, be amazed, be a little creative and pen down and earn money by potraying his country as dark. I think your novel is an sperficial one, an outsider's view and just an angry burst. India still remains exotic, a place where economic miracles happened despite all we have. Most of the appreciations that you have on the first five pages of your novel talks about your sharp observation skills. You think an average middle class indian doesnt know what going on in his country? he doesnt observe as much as you do? he probably knows more than you Mr. Adiga, but he wouldn't write it down for the future generation to read it and celebrate it. I wouldn't like my brother to read it because it will show him where he is living and one more corrupt fellow, not because of whats there, but because hopelessness would drive him to it. I would like him to fight it the honest way, Like so many young and educated people are doing, like my father did. In a country where the old corrupt population is trying to be replaced with fresh, honest young ones, where younger politicians seem to be coming into business, where recent events have been triggering people to stand up against everything wrong, your novel delivers a dark pulse of hopelessness and discouragement which is not welcome. There are reasons why we are like that, reasons we can correct. when you talk about one of the world's largest population, who were never historically aggressive, who were always peace loving until the modern world came into existence, which was economically ripped down until 50 years ago, its difficult to change courses all of a sudden. it takes generation to steer a counry. You cannot compare India to the west, or Europe. Scientifically, the populations and economy has been different. You believe Indians are in Rooster coops, mr. Adiga, the whole world, save the Russians and Indians are in a Rooster coop. I am proud that despite everything we have here, and not the best, we certainly can do better and we have propelled ourselves to a strong position on our own capabilities. At the root level, yes much job needs to be done. Educating village based populations has been the greatest challenge in a country of vast population, diversity and spread. The government goes wrong in implementing these policies which is where we have to improve. Ten Balrams would have murdered and become a corrupt businessman, but one honest fellow would have thought his part of teaching the poor if he was educated. So the solution lies in educating and imprinting honesty, vision and knowledge in coming generations Mr. Adiga and not justifying and sympathising with murderers turned businessmen, just because a fraction is corrupt. I would have appreciated if you spinned out an Indianised Alchemistic novel, which I had expected when I heard the name ' The White Tiger'. Unfortunately 'The White Tiger' isn't white.

In a country where we have as many languages as in the whole european continent, as many religions as all of the world, we have stood considerably unite. We have withstood forces from outside trying to break us down, we have made ourselves capable protect our people. and yet you have been so insensitive to differentiate the Aryans and Dravidians with so much of subtlity. Mr Adiga, todays politicians and citizens dont need to dig into the past. You cannot afford it. Our cabinet consists of ministers from every region. They have done some amount of good work together, considering what they are. You cannot deny that. In a country where a riot can break out every 100 kms, it doesnt happen, On the whole, our politicians have been considerable enough, leave all the money they waste in the parliament and touring the world, all the money they earn in bribes, to take control of policies of the country as a whole. Not all politicians in our country are corrupt. I consider my country to be in a transition phase and its only becoming better.

If you want to blame, blame the politicians, yes, they are corrupt, thugs and rapists and murderers. We need to replace them. and why did they came into power, because almost all politicians come into power on the basis of their votebanks owing to their caste and local brainwash. Now caste system was always in indian mindset. Its dificult to wipe it out like dust and its taking its time. Our politicians reflect ourselves, in a way. Now, the reflection has been more and more false. Because the reflection we see is from the past., where your novel seems to have been set. Politicians we have are from the time periods they came up exactly as Vijay or Balram in your novel. I appreciate that the Indian governement could manage to keep down the number of such people., considering the situations how India developed since independence. People want to be true and honest. Politicians are not. perhaps it will take time untill we reflect our proper selves again. And people are not coming from dark to light like Balram or Vijay, but there exist a set of grey people, who are slowly coming up, honestly, struggling - yes, but that population is what true India is going to be. If everybody thought like Balram did, everybody can justify a murder, a robbery, do you think its going to be any better? Do you think, as a counry, its justified? India is where it is now because not everyone turned into a Vijay or Balram in you novel. You are the new one in the Indo-internationalist club of writers who can complain and rub your nose in dust, show it and make money , but not think forward about what can be done with the dust to progress.





Tuesday, December 30, 2008


A life, A time, A moment,
Someday, sometime,
A free thought, A free will, 
When I can do all that I will,
that lies in my nature,
that my past has taught me,
that my past hasn't let me,
That my present teaches me still,
that I think about, about that I plan,
Someday in future when I can,
will have a time, a moment.
someday, sometime. 


Monday, December 29, 2008

A Dream of Memories..

A sudden experience of weightlessness came over me. An experience of having no worries, no responsibilities, no care. The sound of children playing in the street was either very familiar or very real. i decided to continue with the experience. I saw myself playing in the streets of some village with some other children. I felt like I was there, thinking and live. Some part of my brain had already contradicted the events and informed my conscience that it was not real. I opened my eyes to reality. I was on my bed, my thoughts raced back to the present. It was christmas and I was in Germany . I heard the sound of children playing outside. I went to the window and watched them play. I realised I can imagine, but it would never be close to what I experienced in dreams. An experience of memories. I will be again busy with the real world soon.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Lab: A senior to me inbetween a general related conversation about our boss, "of course she gives you a lot of freedom, freedom which you would like, and freedom which you wouldn't like... you would hope she spends some time on you atleast in the beginning."
Another post doc:" I have been here long enough, and I am here because I have nowhere else to go, all these huge number of people in the lab, everybody has there own niche, you cannot really go and say ' hey I would like to do dome experiments with FCS', you would need other skills for it. and some poeple take out there earphones only when they want, other wise there song goes on.."

During the practical course in a lab, two italians and me. 
First Italian: listen Senthil, I have already talked to him about this, but do you mind if I talk with the incharge so that we can come late tomorrow?"
Me: yes, of course, I dont mind starting late by an hour or two if its something really important to you...
First Itlalian: ya, thanks a lot.
then the incharge comes in, he starts," We wanted to ask you if we can come at 12 noon from tomorrow onwards as I have a personal problem...
the incharge," Can I ask what is the problem? Its not just not my time, it means adjusting the times of all the people who have planned experiments with the instrument.."
First Italian: " I have joined the gym and since I get a discount if I go between 9 and 13 hours, I would like to go to gym, I have not been going the last week because of the lectures..."
The second italian looks at him and then me with a surprised look. I am also suprised at the seriousness of the issue. 
the incharge: I see that you are thinning down, but no. its not possible. Its  shitty (reason).
First Italian: ya i know, its a shitty, I have not gone since a week, i really wanted to go. But this practical and lectures....
All the three of us were astounded but of course we just tacitly smiled.



Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Cycle


I remember using a cycle since I was in school. I had a BSASLR cycle ironically called the Photon. I was then may be learning how fast a photon could travvel. I remember when I had gone with my parents to buy a cycle. I had always had an attraction to mechanical machines. As I went on looking at a costly, geared cycle shock absorbers, my Dad was convincing me to buy a cheaper old fashioned one, like the ones newspaper wallahs and milkmen used to have. Ultimately I settled down for a cheaper but little modern looking one, but the name much more than modern - the photon. I remember participating in a township cycle race, only to realise that others so called racing cycle were much faster. All my consistent pedalling and mental reassurances of overtaking went waste. Those cycles had much smaller flywheels in the rear, corresponding to a high gear in modern cycles. I later replaced the flywheel in my cycle too. What more, I also had a dynamo and a head light on it. A cycle ride in those days was almost a daily routine. In the early mornings of winters, I used to mince through the misty air, braving the chilly wind and cold to the river side, only to sit there for a few minutes and come back. I used the cycle for four years and managed to keep it looking like it was bought yesterday. and yes it had a five rupees BMW logo on its mudguard. 

Later I joined college and went to a different city and my cycle was sold for 500 rs. by my dad without my approval. I now bought a new bicycle, a racing one, less ironically, this one was called 'Mach 3'. I used to ride this bicycle all the way upto a theatre called SK Cinema, on Anand-Nadiad highway, approximately 10 kms from my hostel, so that I could buy movie tickets in advance and save money, only to go back with my future wife in an autorickshaw in the evening. When I left the city, I did not sell it, nor did I take it with me, I dont know what happened to it.

I was in Mumbai now. I found no pleasure and use in riding a bicycle in the crowded streets of Mumbai. I had forgotten the impetuous feel which I had when I rode bicycles, when I and the cycle used to be one, when each stroke of my feet powered it and my hands steered it with perfection. Speed used to be thrilling, a bicycle speed is different from a motor bike speed. Its the engine in bike, and here its you. 

This long forgotten experience was brought back in Germany. Here they call the bicycles 'bike'. A bike would usually mean a motorbike in India. But it cost me the same amount as a second hand motor bike would cost in  India. This one is a mountain bike, 21 gears, twin shock absorbers, lights and it was brought by my own money. Gears have changed now. 

Dresden offers one of the most beautiful and longest cycling routes. It goes from Dresden through the Sachsen Schweizz all the way along the river Elbe to Prague in Czech Republic,  a distance of 227 kms. I hope to ride all the way in the next summers sometime over a week. Of many other good things about a bicycle is that it connects you more to the surroundings, I often enjoy a long lonely ride along the Elbe on weekends. Of course, the weather in Dresden is not so condusive everyday, but, when its cold, ride faster to warm up, when its hot, ride faster to create a breeze..

                                   Road to Prague

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

No good byes.

I went back. Because the Tram display said there were still 18 minutes for it to come. Because there were 10 minutes for the train to leave. I thought there was not much to think about it, there were 10 good minutes. So I went back. I hesitated going into the train, so I went along it. I saw her through the windows. She was writing something. Don't know what. I knew she had gone for the writing pad even as I was turning around to go. I stood there for some two minutes. I thought I should go in. but there had already been a good bye. A very strange one too. I guess it was more strange because of me. I know I am no good at these things. So I stood there. A policeman looked at me suspiciously as he passed by. I looked at the watch, three minutes for the train. Three minutes is three minutes, it cannot be longer or shorter. I turned around never to go back again. The seven minutes were long enough. I know the world is not big enough nowadays and its round. see you again.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Perhaps Love..............

Perhaps love is like a resting place, A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble, When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home...
Perhaps love is like a window,Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself, And don`t know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Oh, love to some is like a cloud, To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on, And some say letting go
And some say love is everything,And some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the oceanFull of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it`s cold outside, Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Words and music by john denver

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Black and White and Grey.




Grey describes any colour between the dark side of white and the bright side of black. All greys are achromatic or neutral colours. Ther is no colour to complement grey but itself. Black and White is both the simplest and the most sophisticated of photographic disciplines. No colour photograph can reveal the subtleties that a black and white photograph reveals. B&W is timeless and eternal.



























































































































Being and Nothingness......


We as humans have the power to think. The most logical reasoning and analytical thinking has been termed as 'Science'. Ignorantly enough, Science only asks 'How?' and never 'Why?'. When I say 'Why', its not the worldly why corresponding to laws of physics or mechanisms of chemistry. Infact that is where 'biology' is a step ahead. It has pushed everything to extreme to create Life, and lately, intelligence. I ask the reason for the existence of our own self, the world we live in, the mystery called life, the universe and many more things....


The question 'Why' is very much based on the assumption that there is a reason for everything or there is causality. Causality applied to understanding the flow of universe and life seems beyond sense. According to causalists, The universe is no more than a chain of events following one after another according to the law of cause and effect. Doesn't tell me enough.


Is life a universal event or is Earth singular in its being? Unanswered. With the vastness of the universe, a small blue ball somewhere with such thing as life and its intelligence to realise itself as a part of such a super gigantic system as the universe is splendid. But there has been always a void. A void of meanings, reasons, purposes.


The human brain have so far tried to provide a meaning to everything. Learning to bear the burden of a meaningless universe, Man has invented god, questioned free will, morality. One characteristic that distinguishes man from other forms of life is the ability to use language in a way that goes beyond a desription of immediate experience, to develop and describe ideas such as space and time and to explore concepts like meaning and purpose.


Much of our knowledge about prehistoric people comes from burials. They alwways seemed to be prepared for next life. From the start, people seem to have asked the same questions- who am I? why am I here? What happens after I die? What is consciousness?..... The answers obviously had been formulated which involved belief in other types of being and existence outside and beyond day to day experiences. god there. the step from personal belief in god(s) to religion is not difficult. god and religion are just incompatibilistic view as a result of failure of mankind to go any further. However, it is not to be forgotten that religion in the present world has done more good than evil. Most religion at their heart, are about finding goodness in people.

But being and Nothingness still exist!!! Seek the Truth and you will find more questions than answers......