I am beginning to wonder if many systems, like friendships, or relationships, are quite similar to biological systems. Complex, interlinked networks of interactions, nodes, and values. The temptation is to attempt to optimize a given network, by setting the weights, or efforts, or importance, by some set of pre-defined standards.
A problem here is that this assumes that one can determine what variables in the network are the most important. . Given the non-parallel interaction between these nodes, this is not directly observable. One can only test the system under different inputs and measure its net outputs.. and then one hopes to gain some vague insight into the underlying architecture, a still as of yet unsolved problem even for the most understood systems.
But, just from... . JUST, general experience, it may come from the fact that one sacrifices one relationship or whatever one may call it , for the sake of the other, under conditions one may subtely guess, but still not make it obvious.
The waterbed effect, If you strengthen, pay attention, give your care to one part of the network, it essentially comes at the expense of another part, the stability, the robustness and the uncertainty of another part. Now this is true of me as anyone else. I might have given up some relationship that held a different stand in my brain as to someone else's, and equally and may be quite deservingly, I have been disposed off from relationships I thought was special with the speed of Katana on an onion. Though I do form various new bonds to conserve the equation as it is in vice versa, that if I have been sacrificed on one, I should form a new one replacing.. I wonder where it ends, where I just know it doesn't stop here, where I enjoy the pains of the past as much as I look forward to the future where the present holds a good prospect, may be better than alone. May be its just the 10 beers I have had today or as a very good friend said: Mehfil mein saath ho to kya,sach nahi ke hum akele hi peete hain?